It's such a challenge! I get up with the boys. Gabriel usually catnaps, or he naps on me. Ethan rarely naps, and when he does, he's awake till midnight. I go to sleep with the boys. It's so hard to find quiet time to read my bible! It's not that I feel like I HAVE to. I WANT to! Why wouldn't I want to read my savior's love letter to me?!
So I made a decision this week. Quiet time just ain't happening! But if I can just read the bible - Not study. Not dwell on it. Just READ - at least it will be something!
Jesse bought me a nook in January as a late Christmas/early birthday/just because gift. It's so convenient for me to be able to have so many books at my fingertips! I can read it while the boys are playing (they're much less fussy if I'm in the room). I can read it while Gabriel is laying in my lap with a bottle or sleeping. I can read it in bed (with the reading light). The first thing I put on there when I got it was a bible.
Since then, I've stopped and started. Reading here and there. I wasn't happy with what I was doing but I didn't have a plan to follow. And I just felt like it wasn't working for me.
This week I bought a daily bible for my nook (a bible that has a plan to read it through in 365 days). It includes 52 devotional articles by Charles Stanley - one for each week of the year. The bible is in its usual format, but there is a list at the beginning with where the readings are for that day - one from the OT, one from Psalms, one from Proverbs, and one from the NT. And better yet, the readings work like a webpage. Each are links that I can click on. When I finished the OT reading for the first day (in Gen), there was a link at the end of the reading that brought me to the day's reading in Psalms. And so on. It's working out great! After I finish the day's reading, I go to the beginning of the next day's and bookmark it so it's ready for the next day. Then the next day I just pull up the bible and go to the bookmark for my first reading, then follow the links from there.
I sit in the recliner in the living room and read out loud. The boys play. Interrupt me. And even occasionally listen ;) If I'm reading out loud, I'm paying more attention to what I'm reading. And if the boys catch a bit here and there, all the better!
So it's not a traditional quiet time of reading and reflection. But I am getting the Word into my heart and my mind. And I'm looking forward to reading through the whole bible! I've read most of the OT and all of the NT, but never the whole thing. I timed it today and it took me less than 15 minutes to read the day's selections out loud. If I need to, I can break it up and bookmark where I am and pick it back up later in the day.
I'm actually excited that I have a method that looks like it will work for me and my needs :D
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Ugh...
So many posts I want to write, but no computer time to do them! Trying to not get frustrated...
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Free-Range Parenting
I've been seeing this book recommended by more and more blogs I follow so I bought and read it this weekend. Loving my nook ;) I agreed with most of what was said in the book but not everything. I think I'll read the 14 commandments again before commenting here, maybe taking some notes as I go this time.
Any comments from those of you who have read it?
Any comments from those of you who have read it?
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Dilemma
I need some feedback! Especially from other AP/GP moms...
My church has a women's retreat coming up next month. It's for 2 nights. I'd be gone less than 48 hours. I'm so torn about what to do!
Pros:
1. I really could use some time I'm not Mommy 24/7.
2. I really could use the time of spiritual growth. I just don't have much time to focus on the Lord and study the Word at home.
3. It's less than 90 minutes away.
4. Getting Christian fellowship - opportunities to bless others and be blessed.
5. Jesse really wants me to go. He says I need and deserve it!
Cons:
1. I've never been away from Gabriel for more than a few hours (but he's not breastfed so that's not an issue).
2. The boys cosleep with me (but they'd have Jesse here instead).
3. Jesse would have to take care of both boys the whole time (but he says he has people he can call if he needs help).
4. I've only been away from Ethan twice - He stayed with Jesse when I was in the hospital with the flu (about 48 hrs), and he stayed with my best friend and her family when we were at the hospital when I had Gabriel (a few days but he saw us every day).
5. Afraid I would be worried about the boys the whole time (mainly Gabriel).
I'm leaning toward going but I'm just not sure...
My church has a women's retreat coming up next month. It's for 2 nights. I'd be gone less than 48 hours. I'm so torn about what to do!
Pros:
1. I really could use some time I'm not Mommy 24/7.
2. I really could use the time of spiritual growth. I just don't have much time to focus on the Lord and study the Word at home.
3. It's less than 90 minutes away.
4. Getting Christian fellowship - opportunities to bless others and be blessed.
5. Jesse really wants me to go. He says I need and deserve it!
Cons:
1. I've never been away from Gabriel for more than a few hours (but he's not breastfed so that's not an issue).
2. The boys cosleep with me (but they'd have Jesse here instead).
3. Jesse would have to take care of both boys the whole time (but he says he has people he can call if he needs help).
4. I've only been away from Ethan twice - He stayed with Jesse when I was in the hospital with the flu (about 48 hrs), and he stayed with my best friend and her family when we were at the hospital when I had Gabriel (a few days but he saw us every day).
5. Afraid I would be worried about the boys the whole time (mainly Gabriel).
I'm leaning toward going but I'm just not sure...
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Quick Update
Jesse and I talked last night. Really talked. He had a conversation earlier in the day with someone he knows who also has a difficult child. That and prayer gave him some perspective. Our discussion went really well :) I knew it was going to be fruitful when he asked if we could start it by praying!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Difficult Few Days
It all started Friday night...
We were at Jesse's parents'. Both his sisters were there with their families. There were 3 other kids besides our two. We all stayed pretty late. We've all been staying up late at home but I think he was a bit overstimulated from being around the other kids. By the time we left, Ethan was getting fussy. He had been not listening off and on all night but when we went to leave, he threw a FIT. Jesse ended up carrying him to the car and trying to get him in the carseat, despite his kicking, screaming, clawing, etc. After a few minutes Jesse's dad offered to carry Gabriel in his carseat out to the car. What followed was a disaster... I will spare the details, but by the time we finally drove off, both boys were crying in the backseat, I was furious with Jesse, and his dad had jumped all over me :( I was FURIOUS! And I rarely get like that. If my best friend hadn't been out of town, the boys and I would've dropped Jesse off at our house and gone to hers.
Jesse tried to give all of us some space Saturday and stayed in his home office working. I dealt with Ethan all day. He would shove his brother, take toys away, and generally take out his aggression on him. I had to stay in the room with him to keep Gabriel from getting hurt. Every tiny frustration was followed by a meltdown. Periodically throughout the day he would start hitting himself and pulling his hair when his anxiety really kicked in. Whenever he saw Jesse, he would start clearing his throat. By the end of the night I had realized it was an anxiety/OCD reaction. It was awful. I was hurt and Jesse and I hadn't spoken 5 words to each other in almost 24 hours. So unlike us...
Saturday night I told Jesse I needed to talk to him about what had happened. It turned into a blowout :( But we texted later after the boys and I went to bed and it got a little better.
Sunday was a little better. Ethan was somewhat calmer. Somewhat. He didn't freak out whenever Jesse came in the room, but the throat-clearing continued.
Today (Monday) was a little better than yesterday. Ethan was calmer. Still not normal. And whenever Jesse or I would correct him, he'd start clearing his throat again. Jesse's worried he can't breathe because of how he sounds when he does it. I'm positive it's a reaction to the stress.
Jesse and I still haven't talked about Friday night. It's up to him now. But I don't want it hanging over us. On paper, we agree on certain things as far as parenting and discipline. But in practice, we're often far apart :(
Oh, and on top of everything else, my uncle (my mom's sister's husband) isn't expected to make it another day before going home to his Savior. He's the one who performed our wedding so it's not the easiest thing to lose him. And we got up this morning to find our very first bird (a 10-yr-old budgie named Fraggle) dead on the cage bottom. We knew it was coming, but it's still sad.
We were at Jesse's parents'. Both his sisters were there with their families. There were 3 other kids besides our two. We all stayed pretty late. We've all been staying up late at home but I think he was a bit overstimulated from being around the other kids. By the time we left, Ethan was getting fussy. He had been not listening off and on all night but when we went to leave, he threw a FIT. Jesse ended up carrying him to the car and trying to get him in the carseat, despite his kicking, screaming, clawing, etc. After a few minutes Jesse's dad offered to carry Gabriel in his carseat out to the car. What followed was a disaster... I will spare the details, but by the time we finally drove off, both boys were crying in the backseat, I was furious with Jesse, and his dad had jumped all over me :( I was FURIOUS! And I rarely get like that. If my best friend hadn't been out of town, the boys and I would've dropped Jesse off at our house and gone to hers.
Jesse tried to give all of us some space Saturday and stayed in his home office working. I dealt with Ethan all day. He would shove his brother, take toys away, and generally take out his aggression on him. I had to stay in the room with him to keep Gabriel from getting hurt. Every tiny frustration was followed by a meltdown. Periodically throughout the day he would start hitting himself and pulling his hair when his anxiety really kicked in. Whenever he saw Jesse, he would start clearing his throat. By the end of the night I had realized it was an anxiety/OCD reaction. It was awful. I was hurt and Jesse and I hadn't spoken 5 words to each other in almost 24 hours. So unlike us...
Saturday night I told Jesse I needed to talk to him about what had happened. It turned into a blowout :( But we texted later after the boys and I went to bed and it got a little better.
Sunday was a little better. Ethan was somewhat calmer. Somewhat. He didn't freak out whenever Jesse came in the room, but the throat-clearing continued.
Today (Monday) was a little better than yesterday. Ethan was calmer. Still not normal. And whenever Jesse or I would correct him, he'd start clearing his throat again. Jesse's worried he can't breathe because of how he sounds when he does it. I'm positive it's a reaction to the stress.
Jesse and I still haven't talked about Friday night. It's up to him now. But I don't want it hanging over us. On paper, we agree on certain things as far as parenting and discipline. But in practice, we're often far apart :(
Oh, and on top of everything else, my uncle (my mom's sister's husband) isn't expected to make it another day before going home to his Savior. He's the one who performed our wedding so it's not the easiest thing to lose him. And we got up this morning to find our very first bird (a 10-yr-old budgie named Fraggle) dead on the cage bottom. We knew it was coming, but it's still sad.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Yet Another Reminder
Today was Gabriel's 1-yr check-up. I had 2 big reminders of the ways he's physically like me.
1. Narrow ear canals - At 13 mths old, they are still so tiny that his doctor got a partial glimpse of one today, and the other is still too narrow. He can manually open them but won't unless he suspects an ear infection. He said there's no reason to cause Gabriel unnecessary pain and aggravation. One of the reasons I like our pedi :-)
2. Susceptibility to yeast infections - My poor baby... He started with a diaper rash last week. It looked like it may be from yeast so I started some natural treatments. Over the weekend it got worse but not bad. Sunday night and Monday it got a lot worse. I knew his appointment was today so I figured I'd just let his pedi look at it and go from there. The pedi barely glanced down before confirming that it was definitely a yeast infection. Lotrimin AF twice a day for at least a week... He said we'd try OTC first and if it didn't respond well we'd look into other options. I know babies in diapers get fungal infections. But i really wonder if he's more susceptible to getting them. Like I am.
Some ways I've noticed he's like me - uses his left hand more (I'm left-handed); fairly easy-going; weaker immune system; shorter than average.
I hope he didn't get my horribly crooked teeth and doesn't fight depression and OCD like me!
1. Narrow ear canals - At 13 mths old, they are still so tiny that his doctor got a partial glimpse of one today, and the other is still too narrow. He can manually open them but won't unless he suspects an ear infection. He said there's no reason to cause Gabriel unnecessary pain and aggravation. One of the reasons I like our pedi :-)
2. Susceptibility to yeast infections - My poor baby... He started with a diaper rash last week. It looked like it may be from yeast so I started some natural treatments. Over the weekend it got worse but not bad. Sunday night and Monday it got a lot worse. I knew his appointment was today so I figured I'd just let his pedi look at it and go from there. The pedi barely glanced down before confirming that it was definitely a yeast infection. Lotrimin AF twice a day for at least a week... He said we'd try OTC first and if it didn't respond well we'd look into other options. I know babies in diapers get fungal infections. But i really wonder if he's more susceptible to getting them. Like I am.
Some ways I've noticed he's like me - uses his left hand more (I'm left-handed); fairly easy-going; weaker immune system; shorter than average.
I hope he didn't get my horribly crooked teeth and doesn't fight depression and OCD like me!
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