The boys and I ate lunch out with my mom today. After a while, Gabriel got fussy in his high chair. Ethan said, "Mommy, let's pray." I asked what we were going to pray for. He said, "Pray, Gabriel's sad." Warmed my heart :-)
We had a rough situation with the car this morning. Ethan was in the midst of it but was so good! He stayed mostly calm through a stressful situation. When we finally left, Jesse asked me to get him a reward for handling things so well. There's a book I've been wanting to get him so I bought it as his reward. I gave it to him in the store but he wasn't nearly as excited as I thought he would be. After we got home, I reminded him about his new book - something that's usually an exciting thing. Instead he calmly explained that he didn't want his book because he would "put it behind the couch." :-( It's his current OCD manifestation. When he shoves a paper or thin book down the small space where the top of the back of the couch doesn't quite meet the wall, they may as well be in a black hole. We can't get them back out short of moving at least two pieces of furniture.
He recognized tonight that if he had the book in his hands, he would drop it into the abyss. It's like when he wouldn't hold his sippy or Puppy in the car because he knew he would throw them down.
It broke my heart... He said it so calmly, so matter-of-fact.
And so his reward, ended up being anything but... :-(
I'll put the book away for another time. One day he'll be able to enjoy it...
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Making Myself Vulnerable
Most of you reading this already know what I'm about to talk about. But I want, no, I NEED to get it out here "in public."
Ethan's always been high strung. And I mean always. Like since he was a day old still in the hospital. He's always been very sensitive and feeds off our emotions. And oh yeah, he's always had a temper.
There are things he does periodically like throw toys in the playpen where he can't get them out. Methodically break a whole box worth of crayons in half, calmly searching the apartment for every one and breaking it in half. And then immediately crying after he starts breaking them, continuing to break them, and crying when he's done. He went through a period of throwing his sippy/pillow on the floor every night and then screaming to get them back. Not fun when you're trying to sleep. In the car he frequently would throw his sippy/Puppy on the floor and scream to get them back. Not fun when you're trying to drive.
It seems like there's a common thread to all of these - compulsion. And I think he's realizing it himself. He doesn't want his sippy/pillow in bed anymore because he knows he'll throw them down. He doesn't want his sippy/Puppy in the car anymore because he knows he'll throw them down.
I'm trying to walk a fine line. I know mental illness runs in both Jesse's and my families. So the boys do have biological predispositions to it. My degree is in behavioral sciences. Some might say I took just enough psychology classes to be dangerous ;-) I don't want to be looking for mental issues in my kids when there aren't any. On the other hand, I want to notice possible issues and deal with them before they progress to the level of other members of our families. So where's that balance?
I found out about a program at our local state mental health hospital that deals specifically with children age 0-5. They work with the parents and the children and try to take care of smaller issues before they get big. They mainly do play therapy, and they have child psych's on staff that work with that age group if needed. She stressed to me that the focus of the program is on changing behavior, teaching parents how to effectively manage the child's issues, etc versus pushing meds.
I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. I kept asking for confirmation that something really was going on with him. And that this program was the direction we should go. I kept feeling peace about it, no matter how much I deliberated. Every sign I got showed me to take this direction.
We did the intake appointment back in July but weren't able to get all the paperwork together we needed till right before Thanksgiving. Once they get the paperwork from me, we'll go on the assessment schedule. They do many hours of assessments over multiple weeks, fine-tuning as they go. He won't have an official diagnosis (they intentionally avoid labeling at his age), but will have a set of "tendencies" he shows.
I felt much better after the appointment for a few reasons. The lady who ended up doing our appointment is the head of the program. And she AP'ed her kids! That right there put me at ease :) Toward the beginning of our conversation I told her something about how Ethan never let us put him down as a baby and her response was, "So you wore him a lot, right?" Uhhh... Not quite the response I was expecting ;) I was up front that Ethan wasn't vaxed. She said there was another family in the program that didn't either - not a problem. But a lot of the reason I felt better was her reactions to some of the incidents we mentioned. I saw her facial expressions - surprise, concern. It was even more confirmation that we were doing the right thing.
Hopefully within the next week they'll be able to get the rest of the paperwork from us and we'll get on the assessment schedule.
I'll post ongoing updates. Please keep my family in prayer as we take this journey!
Ethan's always been high strung. And I mean always. Like since he was a day old still in the hospital. He's always been very sensitive and feeds off our emotions. And oh yeah, he's always had a temper.
There are things he does periodically like throw toys in the playpen where he can't get them out. Methodically break a whole box worth of crayons in half, calmly searching the apartment for every one and breaking it in half. And then immediately crying after he starts breaking them, continuing to break them, and crying when he's done. He went through a period of throwing his sippy/pillow on the floor every night and then screaming to get them back. Not fun when you're trying to sleep. In the car he frequently would throw his sippy/Puppy on the floor and scream to get them back. Not fun when you're trying to drive.
It seems like there's a common thread to all of these - compulsion. And I think he's realizing it himself. He doesn't want his sippy/pillow in bed anymore because he knows he'll throw them down. He doesn't want his sippy/Puppy in the car anymore because he knows he'll throw them down.
I'm trying to walk a fine line. I know mental illness runs in both Jesse's and my families. So the boys do have biological predispositions to it. My degree is in behavioral sciences. Some might say I took just enough psychology classes to be dangerous ;-) I don't want to be looking for mental issues in my kids when there aren't any. On the other hand, I want to notice possible issues and deal with them before they progress to the level of other members of our families. So where's that balance?
I found out about a program at our local state mental health hospital that deals specifically with children age 0-5. They work with the parents and the children and try to take care of smaller issues before they get big. They mainly do play therapy, and they have child psych's on staff that work with that age group if needed. She stressed to me that the focus of the program is on changing behavior, teaching parents how to effectively manage the child's issues, etc versus pushing meds.
I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. I kept asking for confirmation that something really was going on with him. And that this program was the direction we should go. I kept feeling peace about it, no matter how much I deliberated. Every sign I got showed me to take this direction.
We did the intake appointment back in July but weren't able to get all the paperwork together we needed till right before Thanksgiving. Once they get the paperwork from me, we'll go on the assessment schedule. They do many hours of assessments over multiple weeks, fine-tuning as they go. He won't have an official diagnosis (they intentionally avoid labeling at his age), but will have a set of "tendencies" he shows.
I felt much better after the appointment for a few reasons. The lady who ended up doing our appointment is the head of the program. And she AP'ed her kids! That right there put me at ease :) Toward the beginning of our conversation I told her something about how Ethan never let us put him down as a baby and her response was, "So you wore him a lot, right?" Uhhh... Not quite the response I was expecting ;) I was up front that Ethan wasn't vaxed. She said there was another family in the program that didn't either - not a problem. But a lot of the reason I felt better was her reactions to some of the incidents we mentioned. I saw her facial expressions - surprise, concern. It was even more confirmation that we were doing the right thing.
Hopefully within the next week they'll be able to get the rest of the paperwork from us and we'll get on the assessment schedule.
I'll post ongoing updates. Please keep my family in prayer as we take this journey!
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